Update

If you didn’t know, I have a couple blogs. One for day to day happenings & then this adoption centered one. I am tired of updating both & am ready to share my birth mother experiences with all the people I share everything else with, so I will usually only be updating that one from now on.

I will leave this adoption blog up, but if you would like to to read future updates, go ahead and follow my blog here (http://scottandjanessa.blogspot.com/).

I had a wonderful Birthmother’s Day & I hope all of you awesome birth moms did too. Read about my day here.

A Spring Visit

A few weeks ago, E & her family drove 10 hours to come visit my family and I for the weekend! They stayed at my parent’s home and I also took a day off from work to be with them. It was so nice to spend 3 whole days together! I was able to get to know all of them better & see how quick E & her sister are growing up!

 

E is hilarious. She absolutely has a ‘life of the party’ mentality. She loves making everyone laugh (and does a great job at it!) and making funny faces for the camera!

 

When I first saw her, she was pretty shy towards me, although her mom had been letting me know how excited she was to see ‘uhnessa’. She warmed up to my family right away, but after a few hours, she felt comfortable with me and kept giving me hugs and wanted to play. We even got to have a sleepover one night with her sister as well. It was fun & E was such a sweetie.

 

E absolutely has a mind of her own now and does what she wants (as much as her mom will let her of course)! She doesn’t seem to be afraid of anything. We all got to go swimming at the local rec center and she swam for hours, enjoying every second. She is definitely a water baby!

 

As E gets older & more personable she really reminds me of the birth father. He was always the jokester and the one doing crazy, random things. He was very fun loving at times. I know he would love little E. It makes me sad for him that he doesn’t get to see what his daughter is like. I have had a few dreams about him lately, which always seems to happen much more frequently around visits.

It makes me wonder how he is doing. I hope he gets his act together and can someday be a part of her life. I don’t know if I’ve ever truly hoped for that before, but now I do. I don’t want him in my life, but I think she could someday love having him in hers.

But all that just makes me more grateful that I get to spend quality time with her and that she knows how much I love her. My family is an extension of her family and that is amazing in itself. We all fit together well and I know I am so blessed to enjoy that, since many birth moms have much different experiences. I am so grateful that E’s family makes an effort to spend time with me & that my parent’s help make it possible as well.

 

I LOVE ADOPTION! (& this cute little lady)

Adoption Scrapbook

Today I thought I would share with you the adoption book that I made for my baby girl. And for me, really. We both have a copy. I made color copies of every page & we both have a mix of the originals.

 

Making this scrapbook was absolute therapy for me. Throughout my pregnancy and especially after placement, I invested lots of thought & time into these pages. I spent hours finding the perfect paper & stickers at every scrapbook store in town. I developed photo after photo & emotionally placed the photos on each page. It gave me something to do. Some days I would take hours completing just one page, when usually I can finish a page in 30 minutes or less.

After I had E, I took only a couple weeks off of work. And, this is what I did, everyday. When I ran out of photos, I knew it was time to go back to work. As E’s mom sent me more photos, I would make more pages. I looked at this book every night before going to bed, for weeks after placement. It was my comfort. I memorized each photo and each page.

 

I added in pages of my pregnancy & even our “face to face” visits.

Once E was born, I made dozens of pages with photos of us & our time in the hospital together.

I made sure to add pages showing E’s placement & the first time she met her family.

 

My favorite part of the book are the pages from each of my siblings & parents. There is an envelope on each page with a letter from them. They are so sweet. I read them over and over during the months after placement.

There are also pages (that included a photo & short letter) from different members of my extended family; My Grandma, Cousins, Aunts & Uncles. This was really to give E an idea of where I come from & therefore where she comes from. Each letter professes their love for E & a girl can never have too much love in her life!

 

A few pages were dedicated to the friends that helped me the most throughout my journey. They wrote letters to her as well & let her know a little bit about their good experiences with P, if they knew him. I think she will enjoy reading about him someday.

 

I added a couple pages of photos of the birth father & his family. Since we weren’t in contact, there were no letters to be added, just the photos I could find of them. When E showed me those pages last time I visited, she quickly skipped over them because “he looks scary!” Sad, but true.

The back of the book has a pocket that I have saved lots of cards & notes in.

Every time I make a new page, I mail it to her to add to her book. I make them after visits sometimes. Which reminds me…I have a few I need to make!

 

Last time I visited her, E showed me her ‘adoption book’ & was so animated. I know her mother has made it a part of their lives & because of that, it is something E is proud of & loves. Which makes me so happy! I love that her sister has one from her birthmother as well.

 

As for my thoughts & feelings for E throughout my journey, I have been keeping a journal for (her name is censored out for you). I collaged this pink little journal & will give it to her someday. Not sure when, but I think I will know when the time is right.

For now, she can enjoy the photos & memories. :)