Today I thought I would share with you the adoption book that I made for my baby girl. And for me, really. We both have a copy. I made color copies of every page & we both have a mix of the originals.
Making this scrapbook was absolute therapy for me. Throughout my pregnancy and especially after placement, I invested lots of thought & time into these pages. I spent hours finding the perfect paper & stickers at every scrapbook store in town. I developed photo after photo & emotionally placed the photos on each page. It gave me something to do. Some days I would take hours completing just one page, when usually I can finish a page in 30 minutes or less.
After I had E, I took only a couple weeks off of work. And, this is what I did, everyday. When I ran out of photos, I knew it was time to go back to work. As E’s mom sent me more photos, I would make more pages. I looked at this book every night before going to bed, for weeks after placement. It was my comfort. I memorized each photo and each page.
I added in pages of my pregnancy & even our “face to face” visits.
Once E was born, I made dozens of pages with photos of us & our time in the hospital together.
I made sure to add pages showing E’s placement & the first time she met her family.
My favorite part of the book are the pages from each of my siblings & parents. There is an envelope on each page with a letter from them. They are so sweet. I read them over and over during the months after placement.
There are also pages (that included a photo & short letter) from different members of my extended family; My Grandma, Cousins, Aunts & Uncles. This was really to give E an idea of where I come from & therefore where she comes from. Each letter professes their love for E & a girl can never have too much love in her life!
A few pages were dedicated to the friends that helped me the most throughout my journey. They wrote letters to her as well & let her know a little bit about their good experiences with P, if they knew him. I think she will enjoy reading about him someday.
I added a couple pages of photos of the birth father & his family. Since we weren’t in contact, there were no letters to be added, just the photos I could find of them. When E showed me those pages last time I visited, she quickly skipped over them because “he looks scary!” Sad, but true.
The back of the book has a pocket that I have saved lots of cards & notes in.
Every time I make a new page, I mail it to her to add to her book. I make them after visits sometimes. Which reminds me…I have a few I need to make!
Last time I visited her, E showed me her ‘adoption book’ & was so animated. I know her mother has made it a part of their lives & because of that, it is something E is proud of & loves. Which makes me so happy! I love that her sister has one from her birthmother as well.
As for my thoughts & feelings for E throughout my journey, I have been keeping a journal for (her name is censored out for you). I collaged this pink little journal & will give it to her someday. Not sure when, but I think I will know when the time is right.
For now, she can enjoy the photos & memories. :)
