I'm so full of anger right now. I am not an angry person, and all I want to do is scream & beat the hell out of something. life just sucks right now. I'm so damn confused about where my lifes at. what do I want? what I really want is someone to see me for me. I'm sick of being disappointed. why can't all these stupid guys stop acting like boys and be men? its ok to love someone & be real with them. will we ever find someone that wants what we want? I want to be happy. I'm trying so hard to go on everyday, but all I can think about lately is the life I want is unattainable. I know I'm young, but I feel like my lifes been taken from me. my baby is gone. her father is gone. and with someone new. does he even give a shit? why do I have to be the one that suffers because he tried to get me pregnant & succeeded? where the hell is he now? does he have a family? and a new baby? all I've ever given has been taken from me & what have I gotten from it? an empty heart. I just want something for my own. anything worth the hurt. I'm sick of being the one who gives and gives & makes sure everyones happy & comfortable. what about me? I gotta start takin care of myself. but how? I just wanna screw it all & do whatever I want. but I know that won't bring me true happiness. but, all I've been trying to do is find that happiness...& I'm not closer to it.
I wish someone could cure this pain. its funny how you think its gunna work out...then ur exactly back where u were.
see, even now I wanna put a disclaimer on this, saying don't read it, cuz I don't want anyone to get depressed or feel sorry for me or whatever. I can't not worry about others all the damn time. lots of people love me, but they don't even know me. they love that I listen to them & care about their happiness. I don't need a lot of ppl to know me...i just want one that can understand how I feel & love me for who I am inside. is it so bad that the man who does might not be able to take me to the temple?
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