The definition of Adoption:
an instance of adopting somebody or something such as an idea, name, or attitude
I love this definition because the adoption experience is all about overcoming your own preconcieved notions of how your life is going to be and accepting a new course.
I think all people affected by adoption go through this process. Adoptive couples often have to overcome the fact that they cannot have biological children of their own. Birthparents have to overcome the fact that they are pregnant and not prepared. Adopted children have to overcome the fact that they are raised by parents that are not biological. Each one of these situations can be a tragedy to each involved. But, once the individuals are able to accept and adopt the situation, a whole different path opens up and there can be hope and happiness.
The biggest part of this for me was accepting my situation and trying not to judge it. When I first knew I was pregnant, I constantly judged the fact that I was single and pregnant and alone and unworthy and helpless. I hated my situation and myself. It wasn't until I sought help and support that I was able to accept my pregnancy and see the good in it. It wasn't easy, but constant reminders of the good are what helped. I continuously met with a case worker, went to birthmom group, corresponded with my adoptive couple, met with my bishop and attended all my check ups with my midwifes. Having this support system in place and learning about the great benefits of adoption encouraged me to enjoy the journey.
Adopting the idea and attitude of positive adoption is what made the difference for me.
Although adoption may begin with a tragedy, it can end with an amazing miracle.
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