Traveling

I was looking through some photos of E that her mom took and found these treasures.

Here’s what her mom had to say:

“She was so cute with her little bag. As soon as we came to an escalator, she stopped and put the backpack on, and as soon as we were done, she started pulling it again.

She traveled like a pro. She knew exactly how to buckle the seat belt and play with the window. For days after wards she said how fun it was to fly on an airplane.”

 

These were taken last June (wow, a year ago already) when they came to visit Utah. She is just so cute and I miss her tons! She has the greatest personality.

Right now she is on her way to Sweden with her mother and sister for the summer. I am excited for her to spend time with her cousins there and also to meet her Grandpa. She will turn 4 while she is there!

Wow, I can’t believe it has been 4 years…

…But, at the same time I can. I have changed so incredibly much since E was born. I try to remember those days and the days leading up to her birth often. I hate that memories fade. I guess that is why I have journals and photos, but it still doesn’t entirely take me back to that reality. I cherish the time I was pregnant and the days I had with her in the hospital. She is just so special. There’s really no other way to describe her. Everything about her is special and I hope that as she grows up and meets more of this harsh world that she remembers that.

Have a happy summer E, travelling the world with your little pink carry-on.

Stronger

“Woke up late today and I still feel the sting of the pain
But I brushed my teeth anyway
I got dressed through the mess and put a smile on my face
I got a little bit stronger

Riding in the car to work and I'm trying to ignore the hurt
So I turned on the radio, stupid song made me think of you
I listened to it for minute but I changed it
I'm getting a little bit stronger, just a little bit stronger

And I'm done hoping that we could work it out
I'm done with how it feels, spinning my wheels
Letting you drag my heart around
And, oh, I'm done thinking that you could ever change

I know my heart will never be the same
But I'm telling myself I'll be okay
Even on my weakest days
I get a little bit stronger

Doesn't happen overnight but you turn around
And a month's gone by and you realize you haven't cried
I'm not giving you a hour or a second or another minute longer
I'm busy getting stronger

And I'm done hoping that we can work it out
I'm done with how it feels, spinning my wheels
Letting you drag my heart around
And, oh, I'm done thinking, that you could ever change

I know my heart will never be the same
But I'm telling myself I'll be okay
Even on my weakest days, I get a little bit stronger
I get a little bit stronger

Getting along without you, baby
I'm better off without you, baby
How does it feel without me, baby?
I'm getting stronger without you, baby

And I'm done hoping we could work it out
I'm done with how it feels, spinning my wheels
Letting you drag my heart around
And, oh, I'm done thinking that you could ever change

I know my heart will never be the same
But I'm telling myself I'll be okay
Even on my weakest days
I get a little bit stronger
I get a little bit stronger
Just a little bit stronger
A little bit, a little bit, a little bit stronger
I get a little bit stronger”

I love this song lately. It has perfect lyrics for how I felt after I left P. It was the second hardest thing I have ever done and I couldn’t have done it alone. I felt so weak, but I got stronger, every day. If only just a little bit.